I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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