The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
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