butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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