He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
