ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Dear god my vagina.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
