How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
