so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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