Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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