It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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