Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
