Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
