I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
