About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
