dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
