Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
