They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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