I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Randomize
