It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I love you. Go after that dick
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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