He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
