I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
