Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
