this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
