Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
