She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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