Rock
Scissors
Fuck
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
