I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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