Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
