i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Duck Duck Cougar?
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
