But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
