I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
