just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
