My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
