Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
well you can't waste a boner
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
