would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
