i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
