Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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