He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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