soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
