and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
