I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
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