Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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