the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
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