i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
