my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Barsexuality is the new black.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
