Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
