I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
