Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Randomize
