Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
