I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
