i think my tv is drunk
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
